So every weekends, or any other days marked red on the calendar, my grandma is often invited to dine out with my uncle. Usually on those days, I have the privilige to decline and will be at home enjoying old romantic comedies for hours. However, some times I could not avoid being invited (note: just because I’m at my grandma’s), one of those times is today.
I love my uncle and his family, I do. But I would prefer being at home enjoying myself and old time favorites, than to listen to hours full of self or family bragging. Don’t get me wrong again, he must be so proud of his and his family’s achievements, I would too, but then as a human being I can’t help but to compare and feel burdened by it.
Their lives are more lavish and financially substantial than me and my micro family. I’m still thankful, though. I live a very adequate life. I went to Europe twice during my school days, so I have no right to complain.
He is the patriach figure of the family. My grandpa died when he was in college, so the burden went on him instantly, I guess. He seems very ambitious and loves being praised by others. With that background, I understand why he’s like what he is now.
When I was a kid, he used to play with me and buy me stuffs and invite me to sleep at his house. I’m only one year younger than his daughter, and I love her so much too. Though, that one year gap makes everyhting so competitive when we were growing up, even now. My cousin and I don’t really give a fuss about it, but our parents treats it like an ongoing competition, and sadly it drifted us apart.
I don’t know or remember what had happened between me and my uncle. All of a sudden, we’re not close anymore. He no longer hugs me or talk to me, like having a normal conversation. He is even more affactionate to my second-cousins.
For some period of time, I tried to be close to him again, be nice and golly all the time. At some point I grew tired of the one sided effort, and started to despise him. I cannot stand being in the same room with him and listen to all his effort to get appraisals from everyone. I became ignorant, or act like I am.
I want to have those happy memories relived again. Then I can brag to other people that I have a big loving family where we appreciate and love each other so much. That we’ve proven blood is thicker than water. All for one, and one for all. But until then, all I can do is to be nice and polite and strive my best in my career, and in my own pace…….so maybe one day, he will be proud of me, just like my dad.